Sunday 28th December

It doesn't feel like a Sunday. I only went to mass on Thursday. I should have gone, but had had enough of waiting for the 108 bus, to take me to Blackheath and my knee - which is actually much better - afforded me sufficient of an excuse not to cycle.

Yesterday was a real adventure. No trains - engineering works - so took two buses to go to Walthamstow. Venturing into an exciting world where I am the only white ethnic Briton (or whatever we are supposed to say) on the bus. A black woman came to sit next to me and conmplained about the cold, which was savage and gave me some chewing gum. Of course I don't approve of chewing gum in public, but this merely added to the spirit of newness and adventure.

The 108 takes you to Stratford via the badlands of post industrial Bow. From Stratford to Walthamstow (257) takes you through another country. So many ethnic Asian food shops, with their display of fruit and vegetables outside, a challenge to the inclemency of the weather and a race memory of warmer climes. Men with preposterous beards, that look so fake you want to give them a tug, like Paddlington did, to see if they are fake. Women swathed up.

But the lunch party was fun. Some very nice neighbours and some familiar faces from Laurence's fiftieth. Martin, the rather grave stone mason, who may of been Laurence's late sister's boyfriend, and the tv producer who had bought her implausibly attractive fourteen year old daughter along. She, Mathilde, seemed a nice girl, although not very bright, but as I said, so utterly beautiful that one had to keep a grip on oneself not to stare.

Laurence's mum was there, looking quite sprightly I think. She didn't approve of me going on buses. I also met Jo's sister who has just been abandoned by her barrister husband of thirty one years, firstly for another man, and now for a woman. The rawness of the pain made me shudder. As did my failure to recognise the Jo of pre-tumour days from the wedding fotos on the mantel piece.

Laurence's cooking was surprisingly good. If anyone told me that I would find eating gluten free pasta salad enjoyable, I would not have believed them. The beef was excelllent, and the anchovies in the anchovy salad, to die for. Even that old - and not particularly loved staple of the buffet - the rice salad was really nice.

Poached pears also fantastic and the gluten free mince pies, which he'd sourced from somewhere. A boy magician, one of the boys from next door came in and did the most amazing magic tricks. He was clearly nervous, because his hands shook, but very good. He was fourteen, I think, and looked quite grown up until his mum came back. Boys look like boys when they are next to their mums.

It seemed quicker going home, perhaps because I believed it would actually work. I got home at nine and went straight to beddie in my lair. Delia was being a silly cat, as she thinks I'm a baby and wants to sleep on my face. Told her she had her own sofa to sleep on.

Would you believe it, Kibbles telephoned at three in a bad way because he couldn't sleep. Apparently Timothy had shouted at him for not being asleep at two. A very constructive approach this. I told him to go and make himself a hot drink and then imagine himself back in Croatia, and he could call me at four if he was still awake. Fortunately he didn't and I managed to stay up long enough not to miss his call.

Now I am trying to warm the house up, after only heating one room and the fire in the evenings. It is a big house. I shudder to think how much it must cost to heat it, and at our cavalier attitude to insulation.

The house is pretty much tidy and Harry and Timothy are on their way.

Sunday 27th December

27 December 2008

Feel rather hungover after last night. It was a very pleasant evening. Kalp was on good form and ate the curry with relish, despite it not being kosher. I made paneer which was yummy (or nyummi) as they'd say in czech.

We watched tmavomodry svet and I didn't cry as much as usual, and mended bed linen. We went to bed at one and now the baileys is finished. Elas!

Kalp left at seven thirty this am to go to Mansfield. I went back to bed and got up at ten. I am trying to heat the bath water up, but pressed the wrong button on the control. Off to Walthamstow in a bit

Boxing Day

Knee too hurty to go out today, so contented myself with sweeping the leaves in the curtilege to get my exercise and blow of fresh air. I worry most that Mummykins can't get out as it does cheer the soul to go out.

I made paneer this afternoon, to go with my prawn curry. I had so much milk, I had to do something. It worked like magic. Add vinegar to milk, and it becomes cheese! The house is almost tidy now. All except for my lair in the library, which is a jumble of books, papers, sewing stuff. But that's the only heated room, and impossible to be tidy oneself all the time.

St Stephen's

Am hobbling now as hurt knee in mammoth run yesterday. Popping anti-inflammatories now and doing chores. Have this project of embroidering MY socks with MY initials. As I have middle sized feet everyone can squeeze into them. I'm sure Teraza does too!

The fish and chips were good, but not as good either as my mum's or the fish shop in Blackheath. The batter did not entirely work. I used Maris Piper. Was that a mistake, I wonder.

Christmas day ended well. It was too late to watch a whole film, and I was too tired, so I watched the casino scene, of Casino Royale - supposedly set in Montenegro - but in reality filmed in Karlovy Vary and admired Daniel Craig's musculature. Then I opened my presents and the fact that they were few was rather nice. Honey from my secretary - oh God what shall I get her? - Some nicely chosen books from my Belgian friend, and posh, posh scent from Laurence. And Timothy gave me the sex and the city DVD, which was kind.

And early to bed, in the library, with Delia wheezing away on the chair next to me.

Christmas Day evening.

I did it! Ten miles in under two hours. It was glorious run. Greenwich looked really pretty in the sunlight and the park full of happy children wearing new clothes. The run along the river bank up to the Thames barrier was easy and it was lovely to smell the river and admire the canary wharf towers on the other side. The last three miles were made harder going by my funny left knee, but I did run the whole ten miles, except for about fifty metres on a very steep hill. I feel so proud of myself.

And so after a bath, I am going to make my fish and chip supper in newspaper and light the fire and watch a film. Either something foreign or a gangster flick, which no one else in my family likes.

So glad I kept my resolve and was tempted to a more conventional Christmas. He has been a really nice day so far.

Christmas Day

Hurrah! I did make the right decision. And the children are used to a mother-less Christmas and I am sure are being spoilt rotten by Nonna etc. Apparently they went to midnight mass last night.

I didn't wake up until ten, probably because Delia and her snoring was a bit disconcerting. The noises that cat can make! Reckon she needs ventolin. Library very comfy, although I am a bit too long for the sofa.

I cycled up to mass. The eleven o clock solemn mass. The church was full and Monsignor even more smiling than usual. He is such an advert for the Catholic faith. And now am going to do a bit more tidying up and have lunch before my ten mile walk/run. I'm not sure I am over the lergy to do ten miles at a run, but we'll see.