It doesn't feel like a Sunday. I only went to mass on Thursday. I should have gone, but had had enough of waiting for the 108 bus, to take me to Blackheath and my knee - which is actually much better - afforded me sufficient of an excuse not to cycle.
Yesterday was a real adventure. No trains - engineering works - so took two buses to go to Walthamstow. Venturing into an exciting world where I am the only white ethnic Briton (or whatever we are supposed to say) on the bus. A black woman came to sit next to me and conmplained about the cold, which was savage and gave me some chewing gum. Of course I don't approve of chewing gum in public, but this merely added to the spirit of newness and adventure.
The 108 takes you to Stratford via the badlands of post industrial Bow. From Stratford to Walthamstow (257) takes you through another country. So many ethnic Asian food shops, with their display of fruit and vegetables outside, a challenge to the inclemency of the weather and a race memory of warmer climes. Men with preposterous beards, that look so fake you want to give them a tug, like Paddlington did, to see if they are fake. Women swathed up.
But the lunch party was fun. Some very nice neighbours and some familiar faces from Laurence's fiftieth. Martin, the rather grave stone mason, who may of been Laurence's late sister's boyfriend, and the tv producer who had bought her implausibly attractive fourteen year old daughter along. She, Mathilde, seemed a nice girl, although not very bright, but as I said, so utterly beautiful that one had to keep a grip on oneself not to stare.
Laurence's mum was there, looking quite sprightly I think. She didn't approve of me going on buses. I also met Jo's sister who has just been abandoned by her barrister husband of thirty one years, firstly for another man, and now for a woman. The rawness of the pain made me shudder. As did my failure to recognise the Jo of pre-tumour days from the wedding fotos on the mantel piece.
Laurence's cooking was surprisingly good. If anyone told me that I would find eating gluten free pasta salad enjoyable, I would not have believed them. The beef was excelllent, and the anchovies in the anchovy salad, to die for. Even that old - and not particularly loved staple of the buffet - the rice salad was really nice.
Poached pears also fantastic and the gluten free mince pies, which he'd sourced from somewhere. A boy magician, one of the boys from next door came in and did the most amazing magic tricks. He was clearly nervous, because his hands shook, but very good. He was fourteen, I think, and looked quite grown up until his mum came back. Boys look like boys when they are next to their mums.
It seemed quicker going home, perhaps because I believed it would actually work. I got home at nine and went straight to beddie in my lair. Delia was being a silly cat, as she thinks I'm a baby and wants to sleep on my face. Told her she had her own sofa to sleep on.
Would you believe it, Kibbles telephoned at three in a bad way because he couldn't sleep. Apparently Timothy had shouted at him for not being asleep at two. A very constructive approach this. I told him to go and make himself a hot drink and then imagine himself back in Croatia, and he could call me at four if he was still awake. Fortunately he didn't and I managed to stay up long enough not to miss his call.
Now I am trying to warm the house up, after only heating one room and the fire in the evenings. It is a big house. I shudder to think how much it must cost to heat it, and at our cavalier attitude to insulation.
The house is pretty much tidy and Harry and Timothy are on their way.
Sunday 28 December 2008
Saturday 27 December 2008
27 December 2008
Feel rather hungover after last night. It was a very pleasant evening. Kalp was on good form and ate the curry with relish, despite it not being kosher. I made paneer which was yummy (or nyummi) as they'd say in czech.
We watched tmavomodry svet and I didn't cry as much as usual, and mended bed linen. We went to bed at one and now the baileys is finished. Elas!
Kalp left at seven thirty this am to go to Mansfield. I went back to bed and got up at ten. I am trying to heat the bath water up, but pressed the wrong button on the control. Off to Walthamstow in a bit
We watched tmavomodry svet and I didn't cry as much as usual, and mended bed linen. We went to bed at one and now the baileys is finished. Elas!
Kalp left at seven thirty this am to go to Mansfield. I went back to bed and got up at ten. I am trying to heat the bath water up, but pressed the wrong button on the control. Off to Walthamstow in a bit
Friday 26 December 2008
Boxing Day
Knee too hurty to go out today, so contented myself with sweeping the leaves in the curtilege to get my exercise and blow of fresh air. I worry most that Mummykins can't get out as it does cheer the soul to go out.
I made paneer this afternoon, to go with my prawn curry. I had so much milk, I had to do something. It worked like magic. Add vinegar to milk, and it becomes cheese! The house is almost tidy now. All except for my lair in the library, which is a jumble of books, papers, sewing stuff. But that's the only heated room, and impossible to be tidy oneself all the time.
I made paneer this afternoon, to go with my prawn curry. I had so much milk, I had to do something. It worked like magic. Add vinegar to milk, and it becomes cheese! The house is almost tidy now. All except for my lair in the library, which is a jumble of books, papers, sewing stuff. But that's the only heated room, and impossible to be tidy oneself all the time.
St Stephen's
Am hobbling now as hurt knee in mammoth run yesterday. Popping anti-inflammatories now and doing chores. Have this project of embroidering MY socks with MY initials. As I have middle sized feet everyone can squeeze into them. I'm sure Teraza does too!
The fish and chips were good, but not as good either as my mum's or the fish shop in Blackheath. The batter did not entirely work. I used Maris Piper. Was that a mistake, I wonder.
Christmas day ended well. It was too late to watch a whole film, and I was too tired, so I watched the casino scene, of Casino Royale - supposedly set in Montenegro - but in reality filmed in Karlovy Vary and admired Daniel Craig's musculature. Then I opened my presents and the fact that they were few was rather nice. Honey from my secretary - oh God what shall I get her? - Some nicely chosen books from my Belgian friend, and posh, posh scent from Laurence. And Timothy gave me the sex and the city DVD, which was kind.
And early to bed, in the library, with Delia wheezing away on the chair next to me.
The fish and chips were good, but not as good either as my mum's or the fish shop in Blackheath. The batter did not entirely work. I used Maris Piper. Was that a mistake, I wonder.
Christmas day ended well. It was too late to watch a whole film, and I was too tired, so I watched the casino scene, of Casino Royale - supposedly set in Montenegro - but in reality filmed in Karlovy Vary and admired Daniel Craig's musculature. Then I opened my presents and the fact that they were few was rather nice. Honey from my secretary - oh God what shall I get her? - Some nicely chosen books from my Belgian friend, and posh, posh scent from Laurence. And Timothy gave me the sex and the city DVD, which was kind.
And early to bed, in the library, with Delia wheezing away on the chair next to me.
Thursday 25 December 2008
Christmas Day evening.
I did it! Ten miles in under two hours. It was glorious run. Greenwich looked really pretty in the sunlight and the park full of happy children wearing new clothes. The run along the river bank up to the Thames barrier was easy and it was lovely to smell the river and admire the canary wharf towers on the other side. The last three miles were made harder going by my funny left knee, but I did run the whole ten miles, except for about fifty metres on a very steep hill. I feel so proud of myself.
And so after a bath, I am going to make my fish and chip supper in newspaper and light the fire and watch a film. Either something foreign or a gangster flick, which no one else in my family likes.
So glad I kept my resolve and was tempted to a more conventional Christmas. He has been a really nice day so far.
And so after a bath, I am going to make my fish and chip supper in newspaper and light the fire and watch a film. Either something foreign or a gangster flick, which no one else in my family likes.
So glad I kept my resolve and was tempted to a more conventional Christmas. He has been a really nice day so far.
Christmas Day
Hurrah! I did make the right decision. And the children are used to a mother-less Christmas and I am sure are being spoilt rotten by Nonna etc. Apparently they went to midnight mass last night.
I didn't wake up until ten, probably because Delia and her snoring was a bit disconcerting. The noises that cat can make! Reckon she needs ventolin. Library very comfy, although I am a bit too long for the sofa.
I cycled up to mass. The eleven o clock solemn mass. The church was full and Monsignor even more smiling than usual. He is such an advert for the Catholic faith. And now am going to do a bit more tidying up and have lunch before my ten mile walk/run. I'm not sure I am over the lergy to do ten miles at a run, but we'll see.
I didn't wake up until ten, probably because Delia and her snoring was a bit disconcerting. The noises that cat can make! Reckon she needs ventolin. Library very comfy, although I am a bit too long for the sofa.
I cycled up to mass. The eleven o clock solemn mass. The church was full and Monsignor even more smiling than usual. He is such an advert for the Catholic faith. And now am going to do a bit more tidying up and have lunch before my ten mile walk/run. I'm not sure I am over the lergy to do ten miles at a run, but we'll see.
Wednesday 24 December 2008
Christmas Eve
I decided on The Departed. It is an eighteen and I was feeling very grown up. What distinguished it from a 15 was difficult to make out. The use of one word occasionally, and blood. It was very confusing. At first, everyone seemed to be Leonardo di Caprio. Everyone was very troubled by their families. There was one person who may or may not have been Leonardo di Caprio who took a lot of stick because his Dad had worked at the airport. Why was that bad? Should he have been a doctor? Were they early anti-flight environmentalists? Everyone got killed by the end of the film, which may have been a good thing, because getting a jury to convict anyone on evidence as complicated as that would have been impossible. It is clearly time to retire with The Language Instinct. An afterthought. If Harry had watched it, which she couldn't because she is only ten, would she have been able to explain it to me?
24th December, Christmas Eve
Missed the donkey, which had processed from the Catholic Church to the High Anglican one on the Heath, but did meet up with Frances and Jeremy and their children for a bit of open air carol singing. It was a bit strange saying Happy Christmas to all the happy families, but that disorientation lasted only until I had cycled home (in my high visibility jacket - stylish!)
Am still tidying the house. It seems to have got bigger since this morning and messier. Am going to have last nights pork and more dumplings and pickled cabbage, but with a celery and lemon sauce. I can't decide what film to watch. A film about Oscar Wilde, or a violent gangster one that no one would let me watch if they were here.
Am still tidying the house. It seems to have got bigger since this morning and messier. Am going to have last nights pork and more dumplings and pickled cabbage, but with a celery and lemon sauce. I can't decide what film to watch. A film about Oscar Wilde, or a violent gangster one that no one would let me watch if they were here.
24 December 2008
Actually it was rather a nasty film, le Serpent as I reflected when I woke in the dark at six in the morning. Fortunately though, no nocturnal disturbances, and how well one sleeps in, in the morning, when there are no children and au pairs around. The spaciousness of the house is especially pleasing in the morning light.
The train and the city were full of the classes of people one sees rarely there: children and old dears. Both were accompanied by their parents. In the first case excited young children going into Mummy/Daddy's office. In the latter, elderly mums being escorted around by grown up children. Should I have been doing one or other? The need to conform is strong even in the strongest of us.
Work fab as Davinia safely off in Essex land playing with her four million designer handbags and her Boots full of foundation. So could have the wireless on and worked most diligently, until we were let go at lunch. Did feel a little down, I don't like endings.
On the streets, there were only a few tourists and Cannon Street deserted. It was rather nice to be going home in the light. Miss the children though. Even one would be enough. Am hatching plots to get one up in the fortnight they are away.
The train and the city were full of the classes of people one sees rarely there: children and old dears. Both were accompanied by their parents. In the first case excited young children going into Mummy/Daddy's office. In the latter, elderly mums being escorted around by grown up children. Should I have been doing one or other? The need to conform is strong even in the strongest of us.
Work fab as Davinia safely off in Essex land playing with her four million designer handbags and her Boots full of foundation. So could have the wireless on and worked most diligently, until we were let go at lunch. Did feel a little down, I don't like endings.
On the streets, there were only a few tourists and Cannon Street deserted. It was rather nice to be going home in the light. Miss the children though. Even one would be enough. Am hatching plots to get one up in the fortnight they are away.
Tuesday 23 December 2008
23 December, Tuesday
Am storming ahead here in the living alone stakes.
OK, so I managed to miss two trains this morning, but I'm just not used to all that time in the morning, and in the last but one day before Chrimbo, it's not too serious.
Was stood up for lunch, because luncher too important writing front page - or splash, as they call it - to come out. Hmmm. Sorrowful lunch of mashed potato and bean salad, but Teresa's biscuits helped.
Everyone left at five. Most people aren't coming in tomorrow. I think it's the best time of the year. Time to catch up on things. Felt a little down at home time, but rallied when I got home. My fire worked this time, and I cooked another fantastic supper of roast pork, Czech gluten free dumplings and pickled cabbage. And watched a French film noir thriller. Why do so many French film stars (male) look like rats? Sleek rats, good looking rats, but rats none the less. I suspected the lawyer because (a) he was a lawyer and (b) he looked Jewish, but then he turned out to be Greek, and it was just the run of the mill ex-Legionnaire. Didn't think you could be in the French Foreign Legion if you were French?
Have now got holiday weekend sorted out, as am seeing Alison Green on Sunday. I can't decide whether to work on Monday or not. We have one day to take at our pleasure over the Christmas period, and I have been non-committal. I did try and trade it in, as Christmas in teh office a laugh. We leave early and no one asks me any questions.
Off to bed now and the language instinct. Still have drunk very little. So clearly company makes me drink.....
Spoke to children today. They report Timothy ill and v spatne naladu.
OK, so I managed to miss two trains this morning, but I'm just not used to all that time in the morning, and in the last but one day before Chrimbo, it's not too serious.
Was stood up for lunch, because luncher too important writing front page - or splash, as they call it - to come out. Hmmm. Sorrowful lunch of mashed potato and bean salad, but Teresa's biscuits helped.
Everyone left at five. Most people aren't coming in tomorrow. I think it's the best time of the year. Time to catch up on things. Felt a little down at home time, but rallied when I got home. My fire worked this time, and I cooked another fantastic supper of roast pork, Czech gluten free dumplings and pickled cabbage. And watched a French film noir thriller. Why do so many French film stars (male) look like rats? Sleek rats, good looking rats, but rats none the less. I suspected the lawyer because (a) he was a lawyer and (b) he looked Jewish, but then he turned out to be Greek, and it was just the run of the mill ex-Legionnaire. Didn't think you could be in the French Foreign Legion if you were French?
Have now got holiday weekend sorted out, as am seeing Alison Green on Sunday. I can't decide whether to work on Monday or not. We have one day to take at our pleasure over the Christmas period, and I have been non-committal. I did try and trade it in, as Christmas in teh office a laugh. We leave early and no one asks me any questions.
Off to bed now and the language instinct. Still have drunk very little. So clearly company makes me drink.....
Spoke to children today. They report Timothy ill and v spatne naladu.
Monday 22 December 2008
22 December. Evening. Poulet au riz
An amazingly successful day. Despite the plan to drink one's way out of a hangover was not completely recommendsworthy and tennis elbow causing abandonment of keyboard by lunch time.
Units of alcohol: 1/2. Yes, I resisted the bottle and its challenge of come and finish me if you think you're hard enough. A fantastic supper of poussin au riz, eaten on a tray. You could almost convert me to the single life. Even the TV seems do-able. The colour has gone, but I'm not going to risk compromising what I have by trying to fix that.
Populist anthropology. Jared Diamond's Guns Germs and Steel. The man himself has the Most Irritating Lloyd Grossman ilk accent. It's amazing what that man can do to vowels. So many adverts though and so long! You can do the dishes and clean out the hamster and still have time to put up a few shelves. Do not dare fast forward as tried this and I lost the programme.
I am taking a more conservative attitude to lights tonight. Just one in the passage, instead of the whole-scale illumination favoured by Kibbles. I have Radio 3 on downstairs to frighten the banshees and give the hamster some company, but feel moderately confident there won't be coughing episodes tonight. Also, now have Delia for company. She's looking aggreived because I am so late to bed.
Units of alcohol: 1/2. Yes, I resisted the bottle and its challenge of come and finish me if you think you're hard enough. A fantastic supper of poussin au riz, eaten on a tray. You could almost convert me to the single life. Even the TV seems do-able. The colour has gone, but I'm not going to risk compromising what I have by trying to fix that.
Populist anthropology. Jared Diamond's Guns Germs and Steel. The man himself has the Most Irritating Lloyd Grossman ilk accent. It's amazing what that man can do to vowels. So many adverts though and so long! You can do the dishes and clean out the hamster and still have time to put up a few shelves. Do not dare fast forward as tried this and I lost the programme.
I am taking a more conservative attitude to lights tonight. Just one in the passage, instead of the whole-scale illumination favoured by Kibbles. I have Radio 3 on downstairs to frighten the banshees and give the hamster some company, but feel moderately confident there won't be coughing episodes tonight. Also, now have Delia for company. She's looking aggreived because I am so late to bed.
22 December, Monday. Alarm clocks are less reliable than children
No homicidal visits, although did wake up at four convinced that I had heard someone coughing downstairs. In czech they have a word for "to give a small cough to alert another to your presence". It was that kind of cough.
Was perturbed. Not enough to cower under the duvet and wait for my end, but enough to get up and switch on all the lights. No sign of extra-polite incursions, but heart beating fast. Soon lulled to sleep by The Language Instinct. It's a shame kibbles shows no sign of adopting the public school habit of talking "street". There are lots and lots of scholarly articles written on the subject of Black English Vernacular, so much material for maternal aggravation. In fact, would quite like to speak it without any son-provoking aims in mind.
Woke up as the 8.51 would have been pulling out of London Bridge station. Forgot single girls need alarm clocks. No au pair with the tea and the gentle knock either.
But have found the cat. Delia had got herself locked in the library. So may be she was the polite cougher, a la Six Dinner Sid.
Was perturbed. Not enough to cower under the duvet and wait for my end, but enough to get up and switch on all the lights. No sign of extra-polite incursions, but heart beating fast. Soon lulled to sleep by The Language Instinct. It's a shame kibbles shows no sign of adopting the public school habit of talking "street". There are lots and lots of scholarly articles written on the subject of Black English Vernacular, so much material for maternal aggravation. In fact, would quite like to speak it without any son-provoking aims in mind.
Woke up as the 8.51 would have been pulling out of London Bridge station. Forgot single girls need alarm clocks. No au pair with the tea and the gentle knock either.
But have found the cat. Delia had got herself locked in the library. So may be she was the polite cougher, a la Six Dinner Sid.
Sunday 21 December 2008
Winter Solstice
21.45 The shortest day has been sweetened with company and drink. The children just rang to say goodnight. They are playing the James Bond game? Was missing them, but am not now, although will be strange having a whole bed to myself.
Wonder if there are homicidal maniacs around looking for middle aged lawyer prey, but decide unlikely. I shall sleep in Timothy's bed and have Radio 3 on.
No sign of RT.
PS have broached Baileys.
Wonder if there are homicidal maniacs around looking for middle aged lawyer prey, but decide unlikely. I shall sleep in Timothy's bed and have Radio 3 on.
No sign of RT.
PS have broached Baileys.
Mummy toute seule for Christmas!
Once upon a time, I used to write a diary. For ten years in fact. Then I stopped. But now I am going to be on my own for two weeks, I feel a slight need for company even if, I am just talking to myself.
And also this is for Mummykins. Not that she has anything as twentieth century as a computer, but I can print it out and send it to her. Not that I feel guilty about her being on her own. For those of you who haven't met her, my mum's a blackbird and prefers her own company. Oh and I did buy her a little blonde hamster called Holly, so what more can a girl do.
So. Mr Jenkins and Saul to supper. No parental responsibilities today as they are off to Nonna and her smiling calmness. Harry woke me at ten thirty. I still had my clothes on, but hey! I might have needed to look responsible at an instant's notice. Still wearing my chef's jacket too, but might need to cook something. Guest on the move, she said. Crawl downstairs with head hanging off to find Harry making tea and coffee for Saullie. Check under the table for Mr. J, but he appears to have left. "What time" the children ask me. I don't know. One moment I was looking at the clock and the big hand was on the 6 and the little hand on the three, and before I know it, it's ten thirty and Harry is telling me off for not getting undressed.
Harry happy to make breakfast for guests but demands that I personally make her toast and marmite. Drink tea, swallow neurofen.
111.30 find a plastic beaker of untouched tomato juice. Add vodka. Day brightens up. Feel huge swathes of optimism etc. etc. Children tell me I am disgusting. Saul and I listen to his lecture on Britishness on the computer. Feel that Kings College London students do not know how lucky they are to have Saul lecturing for them. Try working out basic cultural concepts in Czech, don't mention Thai.
16.30 Children and Manzel leave. Do not cry. Saul and I open another bottle. Now is a TEST. Can I work the TV. It always used to be a cutsie-cutsie "God, I'm so cultured and recherchee I can't work the TV". This is my nemesis. Why is it so complicated? Ring Chubbles and get talked through it and Saul and I watch Groundhog Day, which is excellent. I'd like to have the same day over and over, think what it would do for my Hungarian!
I also try and light a fire. Well Kit can do it. There are a lot of flames and then nothing. Timothy has taken all the lighters and having to run out to the kitchen to get a light from the stove not cool.
19.00 Saul leaves to go drinking at the Lamb and Flag. Get a surge of well being. The house is a bordel, but there is no one to care except me. The Radio Times has gone. Also our family telephone directory.
The house is huge and very quiet. At least manzel and monsters not dead on M25 holiday horror crash though. Make bread and re-survey mess. May just watch a French film and leave it until tomorrow.
Is sleeping in library odd? Have switched off central heating except for the library. Feel a bit like that bit in Dr. Zhivago. Fortunately though, no Omar Shariff to complain about mess etc., or say does not want to watch French film.
And also this is for Mummykins. Not that she has anything as twentieth century as a computer, but I can print it out and send it to her. Not that I feel guilty about her being on her own. For those of you who haven't met her, my mum's a blackbird and prefers her own company. Oh and I did buy her a little blonde hamster called Holly, so what more can a girl do.
So. Mr Jenkins and Saul to supper. No parental responsibilities today as they are off to Nonna and her smiling calmness. Harry woke me at ten thirty. I still had my clothes on, but hey! I might have needed to look responsible at an instant's notice. Still wearing my chef's jacket too, but might need to cook something. Guest on the move, she said. Crawl downstairs with head hanging off to find Harry making tea and coffee for Saullie. Check under the table for Mr. J, but he appears to have left. "What time" the children ask me. I don't know. One moment I was looking at the clock and the big hand was on the 6 and the little hand on the three, and before I know it, it's ten thirty and Harry is telling me off for not getting undressed.
Harry happy to make breakfast for guests but demands that I personally make her toast and marmite. Drink tea, swallow neurofen.
111.30 find a plastic beaker of untouched tomato juice. Add vodka. Day brightens up. Feel huge swathes of optimism etc. etc. Children tell me I am disgusting. Saul and I listen to his lecture on Britishness on the computer. Feel that Kings College London students do not know how lucky they are to have Saul lecturing for them. Try working out basic cultural concepts in Czech, don't mention Thai.
16.30 Children and Manzel leave. Do not cry. Saul and I open another bottle. Now is a TEST. Can I work the TV. It always used to be a cutsie-cutsie "God, I'm so cultured and recherchee I can't work the TV". This is my nemesis. Why is it so complicated? Ring Chubbles and get talked through it and Saul and I watch Groundhog Day, which is excellent. I'd like to have the same day over and over, think what it would do for my Hungarian!
I also try and light a fire. Well Kit can do it. There are a lot of flames and then nothing. Timothy has taken all the lighters and having to run out to the kitchen to get a light from the stove not cool.
19.00 Saul leaves to go drinking at the Lamb and Flag. Get a surge of well being. The house is a bordel, but there is no one to care except me. The Radio Times has gone. Also our family telephone directory.
The house is huge and very quiet. At least manzel and monsters not dead on M25 holiday horror crash though. Make bread and re-survey mess. May just watch a French film and leave it until tomorrow.
Is sleeping in library odd? Have switched off central heating except for the library. Feel a bit like that bit in Dr. Zhivago. Fortunately though, no Omar Shariff to complain about mess etc., or say does not want to watch French film.
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